


Farewell, my love

by Glittersandmeow



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22309021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glittersandmeow/pseuds/Glittersandmeow
Summary: This is the day Magnus feared. He could feel that this is the time where he needed to let go. He was preparing himself for this but until now he's still not ready, he will never be ready.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Farewell, my love

**Author's Note:**

> After a year of not writing anything... I'm back! 😂
> 
> Before you read I would like to say that this hurt me a lot more than anything. This includes death, I mean I don't know if it's obvious on the title... Also I'm sorry If there's errors, I try my best not to flop, English is not my native language and I'm just a human so ✌. 
> 
> Anyway.. enjoy?

This is the day Magnus feared. He could feel that this is the time where he needed to let go. He was preparing himself for this but until now he's still not ready, he will never be ready.

Magnus plays with Alec's hair as they lay on the bed. Alec loves that Magnus does this every time they cuddle. He admitted years ago that it makes him calm, ofcourse he was drunk when he said that but Magnus knows it's true. 

"I love you Magnus" Alec says, his strong voice is now weak. "I love you too Alexander" Magnus holds his hand as he answered. He then kisses it gently since Alec's hand feels so fragile now. Magnus still love holding it, though he wished he could stay like this forever.

"This is a good way to die." He felt Alec smile as he say that, his voice is so small but Magnus could still hear him. He paused for a moment, trying hard not to cry. "That's not a good joke Alexander. You still have months. You still have time to go at Max' wedding." Magnus's voice is breaking since he's still in denial. 

"You know that's not true. I know you feel it Magnus." Alec was almost out of breath. That's when Magnus let his fears fall down. "I..I could hear your heart beat.. You're scared.. Please don't be.. You won't be alone you still have Max and Rafa.. and I'll always be with you even if I'm gone." Alec continued speaking while Magnus cries silently. "Just always remember that I love you.. and I hope you'll love again." 

Magnus didn't know what to say. He knew he couldn't stop this. He could feel his breathig and heartbeat as they slowly began to fade. "No please Alec, please you still have time Alec... Please, I'm still not ready." He hugged him tighter as he cried harder when he knew Alec is gone. 

He heart felt empty all of the sudden and all he could feel now is the pain. He just lost him, he just lost his Alexander. He knew this was going to happen, he knew. Still he didn't know what to do next. He didn't want to let Alec go. He just held him even though Alec's heart is not beating anymore. 

It felt like years just crying on their bed while holding Alec. He didn't even notice Max was there, frozen and was looking at him for confirmation. The Silent brothers already told them that he'll be gone soon. But at this moment, he didn't know what to say. He shook his head and cried harder. 

He saw tears coming out from Max's eyes as he ran out of the room. Magnus could hear him calling his brother. "It's dad. You need to go home. Papa needs us" He heard Max' sobs as he informs his brother. Magnus held his husband even tighter since he knew they would take him. He won't let him go. Max regained himself and went back in. He sat down beside his father and gently tried to get his arm off of Alec. "No... No..I.. can't" Magnus hugged Alec tighter as he pleaded. 

"Papa you need to let him go" Max' eyes is filled with hurt seeing his father like this. Magnus shook his head quickly as he continued to cry. "I can't" Magnus whispered, he feel so weak at the moment. Max let out his tears and hugged them both. "We need to let him go papa" He whispered to his father. Magnus felt even more hurt when he hear Max' voice broke but he still shook his head.

Rafael went directly in their room as soon as he got in the house. "Papa.." Rafael he softly say while he tried to look okay. Magnus sees his older son and sobs. "H-he's gone.." His voice was in pain since he didn't want to say that. "I know papa.." He sat on Alec's side of the bed and also hugs them both "You need to let him go.. we need to give him a proper ceremony so that he could properly rest." Rafael voice was gentle. "That's all he wanted, remember?" He says as he let go and held his father's hand. Max nods and also held his other hand. 

"I.. I thought I was ready for this day.. I don't want to let him go... " Magnus sobs and looks at his children with tears still streaming down his face "We understand Papa.. but we need to let him go." Rafa squeezes his hand. He's the only one not crying since he was just like Alec, he knew how to hide his true feelings. Magnus hesitantly let's go of Alec. He could still feel the weight of his body ontop of him.Rafa and Max helped each other so that Alec could lay down properly on the bed. But as soon as Alec is gone, Magnus felt more empty. 

Magnus tried to stand up, he was too weak so he almost fell but Rafael catches him. His body was shaking and he hugged his son tightly. "Your father's gone.. you don't need to pretend it's okay" He says as he cried on his son's chest. Rafael was startled by it at first and let his emotions out as he hugged him. Max hugged them both as the three of them cried. "We're still here papa. We'll be with you" Max sobs

"He said that too" Magnus chuckles a little remembering that Alec said that. He let go of them and wiped his tears. "I'm sorry.. I should look strong for you both.. not this crying mess" Magnus still cries eventhough he already wiped some tears off. "We understand you Papa. You just lost your husband." Raphael says as he also wiped his tears. Magnus nods and move to seat down beside Alec. He smiled sadly and moved to kiss his lips, one last time. "We'll take him to the institute.. He needs a proper shadowhunter burial." He says as he held his husbands hand tightly , trying to get all the strenght he needed for the long days ahead. 

Their children both agreed and took care of everthing since they knew their father couldn't control his magic at the moment. They brought their father back to the institute and arranged evething for the burial. Magnus was just following them, mostly staring at Alec. They already agreed as a family that when Alec dies they would have the burial immediately since Alec doesn't want to prolong the pain that will cost Magnus. 

Everything went blur after that. He heard alot of condolences as people went in to join the ceremony but he was still focused on his husband. He wouldn't dare to look away since every minute now he'll be ashes. 

The ceremony started and he was still staring at his husband. They bound Alec's eyes with white silk, then they put Alec's arms crossed over his chest while a seraph blade is clutched in his right hand and it's resting over his heart. Just like a true warrior. A warrior that changed the world for him. 

The Silent brothers called them to say their last goodbyes. It was one of Alec's request since they did that on Jace's funeral back then and he felt a little better after, he wanted that for his family. 

Max started first "Dad.." he looks at his father "I already told you what I wanted to say yesterday since you called us both. You even made a joke on how papa is not ready about it." He chuckled as he cried. "All I wanted to say to you now is that eventhough I will marry and have my own family, I will not fail take care of papa for you. I love you." 

Max moved to the side and Rafael took a deep breath then started "When you called us yesterday, I thought that it was just a normal day where you just wanted to hang out but it's not. You told us that you'll be gone and told us not to let papa know since you know he already feels it. There's this connection between you two that we couldn't explain, it was more magical than the real magic. I know that you'll still worry about him but he'll be okay since we are still here for him. I love you Dad." 

Rafael looks at Magnus as he wiped his tears. Magnus was frozen on his spot. He couldn't do it and his children know, so they hold him as he tried to speak but he couldn't so he shook his head. Rafael nods and give a sigh to the Silent brothers to start putting the runes on his body. 

Magnus cried as he sees them putting runes on Alec's arms and it burns his physical body to ashes. His heart broke more as he sees the ashes float to nothing, as if nothing happened. All the years of happiness and hardships are now just memories.

What was written on his last goodbye? 

Dear Alexander, my Alexander. I have written so many of this letter to you and I know I would write more. I could even make a book to prolong the burial since I know how quickly those things ends to you shadowhunters. Time is very crucial to your line of work but you never failed to give time to me and your kids. I am lucky to have someone like you, to love someone like you. I would brag more about how amazing you are as a person but I know that's for me to keep and you don't like being complemented. You wanted to hear my eulogy and I always say I'm not ready because that's the truth. I'm not, and I will never be ready to let you go. Even if you turn to ashes I will not let you go. You will always be in my heart forever. You made me who I am today and I honestly don't know how to live without you anymore. I'm scared Alexander. I'm so scared but you also made me strong. So even though I'm scared I will try my best to live my life just like you would want me to. Where you can see our children and grandchildren through my eyes. I know you would want me to love somebody else but I know I would only love you. I love you so much Alexander. I really do. I don't want to end this but I know you want to hear it.. Ave atque vale.. Hail and farewell, my love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Join us in Malec amino: http://aminoapps.com/invite/2B5D5HBAUS
> 
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